


Until the End

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-06
Updated: 2011-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-19 23:26:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12420405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Lily and James embark on their seventh year testing new waters as friends. Neither expected their friendship to blossom into anything more... well, maybe James did.





	Until the End

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

  
Author's notes: 1  


* * *

“Hello.”

 

Lily Evans jumped from her spot on the edge of the lake and turned quickly upward, looking for the source of the voice that interrupted her early morning contemplation. She was surprised not only by the face that was looking down at her with a confused stare but by the fact that anyone else was awake at this time in the morning. Lily usually never awoke before eight-thirty, but today, for some odd reason, she found herself wide awake at four in the morning. She supposed the fact that she had a lot on her mind, mostly thoughts regarding the growing threat of Voldemort and the fact that her ex-best friend was most likely his newest recruit, had not allowed her to fall into a comfortable sleep. 

 

Lily wondered how long she had been sitting staring at the lake now. The sun was barely rising in the horizon, and Lily realized it must have been some time. 

 

She shook her head and sighed, breaking away from the gaze of her intruder and staring out at the lake again. “What brings you out here at this time in the morning, Potter?”

 

Behind her, James shifted and unceremoniously plopped himself down onto the grass next to Lily. She glanced over at him and hid a smile at his rumpled appearance. His hair, usually quite messy, was ridiculously unkempt, so much so it seemed that he purposely made it that way. He was wearing a t-shirt and his pajama pants, both terribly wrinkled. He yawned loudly before looking at Lily and smiling lazily. 

 

“I suppose I just fancied a stroll,” he told her, leaning back and taking a deep breath. 

 

Lily quirked an eyebrow. “Potter, do you fancy me a fool? You barely ever make it to class every morning, and that is at 10:00. And half the time you end up in class with your fly open and your shirt unbuttoned.”

 

James laughed loudly at this and shook his head. “Dear, dear Evans, you noticed my fly was down, did you?”

 

This brought an annoyed scowl on Lily’s face, and James immediately backtracked. “Alright, you caught me. I happen to have a lot on my mind right now, and I needed a bit of tranquility. My dormitory is filled with the beautiful sounds of Peter’s snores, so I figured coming out here would be helpful.”

 

Lily found herself surprised at the similarities in their dilemmas. After all, she had been sitting out here for hours, thinking about the many issues in her life, and she had left her dormitory partly because Emma had a cold which apparently made it impossible for her to breathe normally while asleep. 

 

She nodded, and they fell into an awkward silence. It had been a year almost to the day since the incident in fifth year which effectively ended Lily’s friendship with Severus Snape, and after that, she and James Potter had spoken minimally. Lily’s pride would not allow her to apologize for the hurtful words that she said that day, and she suspected the same problem faced James. They both owed the other an apology for their actions, but neither would swallow their pride long enough to make a good apology. She supposed that after all this time, it didn’t matter much if they apologized, but Lily could not help but wonder if it would make life less awkward if they did.

 

Ever since the fight, the two had tip-toed around each other. Lily, who had a friendship with James’ best mates, tried her best to keep a manageable distance between them, and she made the honest effort to be kind, even friendly whenever they came into contact. James had obviously decided to take the same course of action, and he had not asked Lily out for a year.

 

Lily hated the awkwardness between them. She needed to say something, but before she could make a quip about the wonderful weather, James coughed loudly and looked at her.

 

“And what brought you out here this morning, Evans? Wanted to have a talk with the Giant Squid?” he asked. 

 

Lily couldn’t help but laugh at the mention of the Giant Squid. James often liked to tease her for that comment, and she knew that she would never live it down.

 

“Well, I can’t very well neglect my dearest Squiddy, could I? He gets a bit testy if I don’t get some alone time in with him every once in a while,” she shot back, looking lovingly out at the Black Lake just as the Giant Squid flailed a tentacle into the air. “See that? He just said for the wanker to step away from his woman.” 

 

James burst out laughing, and as a result, Lily broke into a fit of giggles. The two sat there laughing for a few minutes before they settled down enough to speak. 

 

“Good show, Evans, good show,” he said, wiping tears from his eyes. “However, I believe you have other reasons for coming out here so early. Care to share with the wanker?”

 

Frowning, Lily shrugged. James nudged her with his shoulder, urging her to speak. 

 

“I guess for the same reason as you,” she answered quietly. She looked up from the grass and locked eyes with James. “I just had to get out of there and think. Be alone with my thoughts.”

 

“And what could possibly be on the mind of Lily Evans that has her spooked so much?” James asked quietly. Lily glanced over at him and was again surprised. She noted concern in his eyes, and she allowed herself to open up.

 

“The news is getting worse by the day,” she whispered, looking back out onto the lake again. The sun was rising higher in the horizon. A new day was starting. “I keep hearing about Muggles dying these mysterious deaths, all over the country. Three families in the towns surrounding where my parents live have been murdered, children included. It makes me think of my family, how… how helpless they really are to this kind of danger. I’m scared for them because not only are they in danger as Muggles, but they have a daughter who is a witch, who is in the thick of it. 

 

“And the thing that scares me the most? The fact that Voldemort and his followers are here, within these walls. Students are leaving and going into his ranks. People that we know, people that we…” Lily trailed off here, her thoughts running over to Severus. 

 

“You know,” James said, clearing his throat. Lily noted the nervousness in his voice. “I never did apologize to you for that day, for what I did to Snape, for what I said to you.” He stopped here and waited until Lily looked at him. She was unsure of where this conversation was going. “And I should have. I should have come to you and told you straight away how bloody stupid I was for doing that, how truly sorry I am for being such an idiot. I don’t like Snape, that won't ever change, but I see that he meant something to you. As much as it pains me to admit, I was wrong.

 

“But Lily, I know you don’t want to give up some semblance of hope for him, but sometimes, people are too far gone for you alone to change them. I can’t imagine how it must feel, to lose a friend like that, to have one betray you like that, but you can’t bring him back to your side of the fight. He has to make that choice alone, and I think the only way you can move on is to accept that.”

 

Lily’s eyes began to prickle, and she felt the tears coming. She took a deep breath and tried to hide her tears. “It’s so hard still; even after all this time, to know that he’s become one of them. I can see it in his face, the hate and the rage. I can see it, and it hurts because it’s directed at people like me. He was my best friend once, the one person I could tell everything, and now he hates me just for being from a Muggle family. I knew there was a war, I knew we would all have to take sides, but I thought… I just thought he would take mine.”

 

The tears were flowing freely now, and Lily knew there was no way of hiding it from James. She allowed herself to break down for the first time in a year since Severus called her that dreadful name. She let the pain of his betrayal and all the fear she had for the coming war flow out of her, and while it was painful, Lily knew she needed this. She needed to release it. 

 

As she sat there, knees pulled up to her chest, body shaking, Lily wondered whether James had left. Perhaps he had felt uncomfortable by her show of emotion or perhaps the way she spoke of Severus was too much for him.

 

But, as she felt arms encircle her and pull her into a warm embrace, Lily realized that he was still there, speaking soft words of comfort to her. She cried for what seemed like hours, but James allowed her to, and it felt euphoric.

 

After she quieted down some time later, Lily pulled back from James and looked up at him. He smiled at her and wiped a tear from her face. She absently noted the tenderness in his eyes, the softness of his skin, and she could not help but smile weakly back.

  


“I’m sorry for what I said to you that day, Potter,” she whispered, surprised at her own use of his first name. It had been said so infrequently from her mouth that it felt foreign and wrong. “I was so angry and so hurt by everything, I just went mad. I was wrong to say those things to you, and I’ve thought about that day all this past year. You deserved better treatment from me, not only then but before that too. And I’m sorry.”

 

The two looked at each other for a while, silent and stoic. Lily noted the emotions running through his eyes, and she wondered what he was thinking. Then, suddenly, he pulled her back into a hug and sighed.

 

“We’re a right mess of a pair, aren’t we, Evans?” he whispered into her ear. She laughed and put her arms around him. 

 

“That we are, Potter,” she whispered back. James pulled away and smiled. 

 

“I was a right wanker these past years, Evans, I know that now. I deserved for you to treat me the way you did, although you could have been a bit less forceful with your hate.” Here, Lily blushed, and he gave her a crooked smile. “But that's all in the past. There’s no more time to think about it because there’s too much going on now that we need to worry about. Our sixth year is over. We have one more year at Hogwarts, and then we’ll be thrown out into the cold, dark world. I, for one, want to enjoy my last year here, and I’d hope,” James said before his voice hitched. The nervousness was back, and Lily stared at him, urging him to continue. “I’d hope that we could have some sort of friendship or even just a minor acquaintanceship.”

 

As he said this, Lily turned the words around in her mind. _Friendship with James Potter._ A year ago, Lily would not have been able to think about the idea without gagging or laughing hysterically. But after this past year and especially after this morning, Lily felt she liked the sound of it. _Friendship_. She figured one could never have too many friends.

 

Lily smiled and nodded. “Yes, a friendship sounds like a perfectly reasonable idea,” she responded. James’ face lit up with the most brilliant smile she had ever seen, and Lily could not help but laugh. “If we’re going to be mates, then perhaps we should start calling each other by our first names.”

 

If possible, James’ smile widened, and he nodded vigorously. “Great! Brilliant, sounds perfect, Ev—Lily. Lily. _L-i-l-y_ , Lily.”

 

She quirked an eyebrow and James shrugged. “Just practicing.” 

 

Lily rolled her eyes and stood, stretching and gazing over the grounds. She looked down at James and offered her hand. He smiled and allowed her to help pull him up. The two of them stood silently, watching the day begin. Lily felt lightness within her, and it seemed as if much of the weight had been lifted. It seemed friendship with James Potter would have its benefits. 

 

“We’re all scared, Lily,” James said suddenly. She kept her gaze forward and listened. “We’re all scared for our families, for our friends, for the people we love. We’re all bloody terrified, but we have to stay together. All of us who have something or someone to fight for, we have to stay together and make sure he doesn’t win. I’ve got your back if you’ve got mine.”

 

Lily locked eyes with James and gave a brief nod.

 

“We’ll fight, Lily,” he said. “We’ll fight till the very end.”

 

Lily knew then, as she saw the fierceness in James’ face, heard the strength in his voice, that he meant it.

 

Perhaps she should have become his friend sooner. 


End file.
